Companies throw the term around freely, along with slightly less vague but often just as elusive enticements like ‘flex hours.’ In practice, though, work gets the lion’s share of your time and energy and an insufficient remainder is rationed among the other important areas of your life.
When too little is left to be the dad you want to be, to look after your health, to find some peace and fulfillment, you have a problem.
The word ‘balance’ itself is off-target, because the goal is neither to divide your time into perfectly equal potions, nor to walk a tightrope between your most important roles. Harmony – between work and personal life – is probably a better way to think about it, but what you really want is more say over where your time and energy goes. When you create that your life becomes much more full-spectrum.
You figure out how to be highly capable and valued in your career. You get to be a provider and an engaged, hands-on dad. You find time to take care of yourself, for social connections, for interests.
And maybe most importantly, you become an example to your kids of someone who has designed and is living his life very well.
We get there primarily through addressing and easing the pain points of the career, because it’s the 800-pound gorilla that tends to push everything else out to the periphery. It’s not necessarily malicious but it’s VERY hungry, and if you leave anything out on the table you meant for your family or yourself you can bet it’ll be gobbled up.
We work in several of the classic coaching areas, like values, goal setting, and mindset, but we also focus quite a bit on connecting to purpose, creating consistent boundaries, being more present and intentional in your varied roles, and effectively navigating the whole choice life cycle (recognizing, making and owning them).